The amazing Diana

This week has been full of funny. Both Amelia and Diana have been hilarious.

For example, I took Amelia and Diana to Target a couple of days ago to look for Christmas gift wrap. My goal was to simply get out of the house, but my plan was to buy some cute gift wrap for the girls' presents. While we have plenty of Christmas wrap sitting around the house, almost none of it seems to suit the cute gifts we'll be giving the girls.

When I got Amelia to that section of Target which sells Christmas wrap I asked her to help me choose some wrapping paper. The wrapping paper she chose was nice, but not really what I had in mind for the girls. Still, if it was what she liked then that was what I would buy.

One of Amelia's selections was red paper with snowmen on it. Pretty basic Christmas wrap in basic colors. The other selection was a more artistic design with reindeer. This paper was pretty but full of non-traditional colors like pink, lime green and baby blue. Though I liked the paper, I thought it would be worthless unless we could find matching bows somewhere in the store. None of the inexpensive bags of bows I found nearby had any colors like those on this gift wrap, so I decided we should move to the front of the store to check out the pricier individual bows in the party section.

It was almost impossible to get Amelia to the front of the store. I did everything I could to avoid all of the toy aisles at Target, but it still took several long minutes to reach our destination. FINALLY we reached the bows and it seemed that they had all the pink, green, and multi-colored pastel bows a girl could want. I looked at Amelia, relieved that we were finally almost on our way out the door, and asked her what color bow she thought we should buy to match her paper.

Amelia looked me right in the eye and said, "White."

I don't think she had any idea why I burst out laughing. At that point, I was tired and starving and her comment struck me as the funniest thing I had heard in years.

Later that same day Amelia pulled out another gem. I had been reluctantly deep frying (I hate to deep fry because of the mess and smell) batter-coated tofu when my nose told me that I had to change Diana. Diana fought this diaper change with every ounce of her being, still I had to move fast in order to prevent my tofu from burning. After I finally got Diana into a clean diaper I rushed back into the kitchen to attend to my work.

A few short seconds after returning to the stove I heard Amelia state, in a dead-pan voice, "Diana's diaper's off." Sure enough, there was Diana standing in the middle of the family room floor holding her diaper over her head in one hand. She reminded me of a tiny Houdini and seemed very proud of her achievement.

I quickly rushed to her side and re-dressed Diana in her diaper. You don't leave a girl known as "puddles" without her diaper on for long.

The next day Amelia and I went outside to hang Christmas lights. Amelia was fun to talk to, even though she wasn't too much help. While I was moving the ladder around to the side of the house Amelia noticed the numbers near the front door. She read the numbers correctly and I was proud that she was starting to learn our address.

So I told Amelia, "You live at that address, so if you're lost and meet a policeman what will you say your address is?"

Amelia stared at me blankly.

"Amelia," I continued, "If a policeman asks where you live, what do you say?"

She thought for a moment and answered, "I live in Indiana."

Even though that information wouldn't do Amelia any good if she were lost, it was a really, really funny answer. Boy, if she met a cop while wondering around lost and told him or her, "I live in Indiana," they'd think she was very lost indeed.

Lisa